


The Hurts You Never Knew

by akatsuki_tsukiyomi (Yumi25Nakashima)



Series: First Blush [45]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Break Up, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Established Relationship, F/M, Fights, Goodbyes, Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, Implied Sexual Content, Manipulative Relationship, On-Again/Off-Again Relationship, Reader-Insert, Sibling fight, Songfic, Tragic Romance, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28549380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yumi25Nakashima/pseuds/akatsuki_tsukiyomi
Summary: She shivered as the rain continued to pour. She continued walking, her feet sloshing inside her heels uncomfortably as water continued to seep into them. She grimaced at the discomfort but did nothing to stop it, still trudging forward with slow steps. She barely managed to drag herself under the shade of a bus stop.How long had she been standing in the rain? How long ago did he leave her under the mercy of the cold night?
Relationships: Prussia (Hetalia)/Reader
Series: First Blush [45]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2089500





	The Hurts You Never Knew

**Author's Note:**

> (F/N) - Reader's First Name  
> (L/N) - Reader's Last Name  
> Gilbert Beilschmidt- Prussia's official human name  
> Ludwig - Germany's official human name
> 
> The song featured is The Hurts You Never Knew by KZ Tandingan. The English lyrics that I inputted are a mixture from two sources.

_What else do you want from me?_

She shivered as the rain continued to pour. She continued walking, her feet sloshing inside her heels uncomfortably as water continued to seep into them. She grimaced at the discomfort but did nothing to stop it, still trudging forward with slow steps. She barely managed to drag herself under the shade of a bus stop.

How long had she been standing in the rain? How long ago did he leave her under the mercy of the cold night?

_Your sudden text messages are enough to make me feel lonely_

The ringing of her phone finally caught her attention and she looked down at her purse. She opened it. The inside of her bag had not been dampened by the rain.

She rubbed her wet hand against her nose, trying to wipe away what tears or mucus had been swimming with the raindrops on her face. She felt that her makeup had started to smear but she could not bring out the energy to care.

_I will not forget them, don't remind me_

She picked up her phone and struggled to swipe right to answer the incoming call, her thumb messily dripping water onto the screen. She finally managed to answer and she could hear the loud booming voice of a man, even without having to put him on speaker.

"Where are you?" She heard Ludwig's voice demand with urgency.

The droplets of the tears of the sky pounded against the pavement.

"At a bus stop," she croaked. She had been wailing amidst the storm, she was not surprised that even her voice was giving up on her.

_I'm afraid that this is the sad ending_

She looked around, her teeth starting to chatter in her cold and wet state. She wrapped an arm around herself, pressing her legs together, and trying to steal any bit of heat that had yet to leave her body. She held her phone closer to her mouth as she looked around.

Ludwig asked her to look around for any landmarks. She noted a large water fountain a ways away and a convenience store across the street from where she sat. She had walked quite a distance from the park she had initially been at.

_What else can I do, what can I do?_

Fresh hot tears started to pour from her eyes as words of comfort came from the other end of the line. She did not think how she could still have any tears to shed after crying her heart out with the rain. She bawled miserably into her hands, still holding onto her phone.

"I'm coming," Ludwig kept repeating, saying her name multiple times to make sure that she could still hear him. She could not. She could only hear the ringing in her ears and her cries of lament.

_In the end, we still won't be lovers_

She did not know how long she spent in her misery. The roaring of an engine slowly getting louder caught her attention. She looked up, only then noticing that Ludwig had not yet hung up on the call. He no longer spoke. A familiar silver Mercedes 300SL Gullwing was speeding in the direction of the bus stop. The blinding lights against the night made her shield her hand in front of her face. The beautiful car started slowing down before screeching to an abrupt halt right in front of her.

" _Komm rein_ ," **get inside** came the younger man's voice from her phone before he hung up. She scrambled to throw her smartphone into her purse as he opened the falcon-wing passenger door. She quickly threw herself inside and pulled the door closed.

_There are so many things that you don't know_

Realizing that she was still dripping wet, now soaking his pristine leather seat, she started spouting out incoherent apologies. He quickly shut down her attempts at having him forgive her for ruining his seat.

"Don't worry about that. I'm taking you home, alright?" He had already started accelerating, hitting the road at an alarmingly speedy pace. She quickly buckled herself in, hiccupping from her previous crying fit. She wiped her palms across her face again. She did not want to bring down the sun visor of his car to inspect herself in its mirror, knowing and already feeling like a mess.

_How long will I be lonely?_

He offered her a pocket-handkerchief that he retrieved from the inner pocket of the blazer he wore. She gratefully took it, wiping her exposed skin dry and trembling at the chill of his air conditioning. She did not see the redness of his blood that pooled just beneath the skin of his raw knuckles.

He parked in front of her apartment and stopped the engine of the car. He looked at her and noticed her shivering in her damp hair and clothes. He reached into the backseat of his car and pulled out his thick coat. He quickly got out of his car as she slowly unbuckled herself and opened her door. She shook harder as she met with the unforgiving chilly evening air.

He wrapped her in his warm garment as he made her step out of her flooded shoes. The pavement underneath her tights-covered feet felt warmer than her shoes. He picked up her heels and locked his car doors behind them before leading her up to her apartment.

_How long should we be separated before I can let go?_

Ludwig stayed with her even after she had taken a warm shower and had changed into fresh clothes. The musky scent that lingered heavily around him only reminded her of the night's events and the cause of her distress.

She looked down, her cheeks burning in shame at having him witness her at such an unsightly time.

"Thank you," she managed to mumble. His kind eyes watched her carefully. He did not want to leave her for the night but she seemed reluctant to continue to be in his presence. He understood why. He was too much like the man she was trying to forgetting and had been starting to resent.

_I loved completely_

"I doubt he will come home tonight," he told her gruffly. "I've... managed to knock some sense into him."

Not understanding the meaning of his words, he lifted his hand to massage his knuckles and show her. Her eyes widened as she let out a small gasp.

"What did you," she started before she stopped, a lump forming in her throat and keeping her from saying another word without choking up with tears. She felt betrayed by her mind for having to worry about _him_ despite _his_ impertinence towards her.

"It's nothing. I doubt he even felt it. His face certainly shows it though." Ludwig muttered bitterly. He looked at her with a firm gaze and held her by the shoulders, his big hands enveloping her tightly.

"Tell me if he bothers you again. Call me tomorrow. _Verstehst du_?" **Do you understand** he asked her. She nodded weakly.

"I will."

_I fully surrendered my heart and let myself become insane_

He let her go and nodded. He looked around her apartment before mussing her hair with a boyish smile on his lips.

"See you tomorrow, _Schwester._ " **Sister**

_What else do you want from me?_

\---

It had been several weeks since her break up with Gilbert. The nasty night left a bitter taste on her tongue. That night that Ludwig had brought her back from being drenched in the rain after being dumped and left by his older brother in the middle of a public park, she could not find it in herself to catch a wink of sleep. It was almost laughable how rain started pouring right after his departure, making her truly feel as though her world was falling apart. She had thrown every one of his belongings into empty boxes that she had kept in the little storage cabinet on the far end of the kitchen island. In her outburst of rage, amongst other emotions, she had filled a couple of boxes with the things she could find around her apartment that was his or reminded her of him.

She kept those boxes untouched under a silk curtain she had yet to hung up on her windows, stacked in a pile inside her bedroom.

Ludwig had regularly visited her during the first few days after. She was grateful for his presence but she did not want to keep him by her side—he had other things to do, much more important things to do rather than babysit her and nurse her broken heart. He mentioned that Gilbert had not come home since their nasty brawl. He could barely call it a brawl. After being presented with the news that his older brother had dumped his close friend, and in such a discourteous manner, he could not contain himself and had punched Gilbert square on the jaw. Unlike the many times that they had shared rough fights that ended with both of them in bandages, Gilbert did not fight back. Ludwig then left in a hurry, calling her and picking her up from the cold rain. When he returned to their shared apartment, he realised that Gilbert had left, along with a few of his belongings.

After three days of not hearing from his brother, he got the news that Gilbert was staying with his close friend, Roderich. He figured it was for the best. He still bore a considerable amount of resentment towards the ill-mannered actions of his brother. He doubted that they could live under the same roof in peace.

_Please don't show up at my wedding_

She went about her day, munching on soggy pieces of French fries from the takeout meal she had gotten the night before. Following the clearing out of Gilbert's belongings, she figured a change in environment was what she needed. She had spent most of her week moping and in between bouts of hysteria and sleep. She was either bawling her eyes out or slumbering her day away, much to her boss and colleagues' disapproval. She figured that she would refurbish her apartment in the weekend when she had no commitments nor tasks to do.

_I rode in the car after I heard your favourite love song_

She struggled to pull the heavy couch from one side of the small living room to the other, almost knocking down her lamp and several other furniture in the process. She sighed as she finished, already out of breath. She wondered if she should have called some friends over to help her. She wiped her hands against the denim of her overalls as she poured herself a glass of water. Her phone rang with a text notification from the breast pocket of her overalls. She slipped it out of the large front pocket and almost dropped her glass in surprise at the name displayed on her lock screen.

**Schatzi:** _I can't do this without you._

She gulped, her throat feeling parched despite having just had a drink. She set her glass down and held her phone with both hands, not understanding the message. She had yet to erase all traces of him from her smartphone and laptop. She had been preoccupied with other things to do that.

_It was worth loving you_

Dread filled her at his words. She was worried that something terrible had happened. As much as she wished she no longer cared, she could only lie to herself so much. She could only try to convince herself that he was someone not worth losing herself over for so long—if she did not truly believe that with every fibre of her being, it would still mean nothing. As much as she didn't want to, she still cared.

She sucked in a long breath to calm her frenzied thoughts. She slowly, cautiously, tapped into her contacts and dialled a number.

She brought the device up to her ear, her heartbeat picking up its pace. She felt queasy as her fingers drummed incessantly against the kitchen countertop.

_I don't need anything else from you_

"Hello?" She called into the phone as the dial tone stopped ringing. It was silent on the other hand before she heard his raspy voice.

" _Schatzi_." **Sweetheart**

\---

_Just don't forget the journey that we travelled together_

The night outside the small bedroom's window was more alive than she was. She lay on the sheets, a warm body wrapped around hers, as she looked up at the ceiling with exhausted eyes. She gripped the soft cotton sheets tightly in her fists. Her grip tightened even more as his strong arms slithered around her more, pulling her to his broad chest. The feel of their tacky skin rubbing against each other made her wince in utter displeasure. The more she lay with him, the more she felt like she was dying. She felt herself deteriorating with every caress of his fingertips and every sweet murmur of his lips.

She did not know why she did it. She did not know why she heeded to his every beck and call. She did not know why she drove so many miles to get to one of the apartments Roderich owned in the city to fall apart once more in Gilbert's arms.

_There are so many things_

She did not understand why she would let herself fall into his hands so easily like a meal he had been craving for. She did not understand why she would let herself be devoured by a man who had an endless pit of a stomach. He did not want _her_. He wanted anyone—anyone who would tolerate his misgivings, anyone willing to indulge him in a good time. For as long as they've known each other, she was not that type of person.

So why?

_That you do not know_

The two lay awake. She finally plucked the courage to untangle herself from him. Her nakedness did not bother her as she stepped out of the bed. He slowly sat up, watching her, lips pressed together.

  
"This was a mistake," she told him as she started getting dressed. His piercing red eyes seemed to glisten with what little light seeped in through the sheer curtains covering the windows.

"Don't leave me," he said.

Her fury returned. She looked at him, her glare burning his skin. She stomped over until the mattress was pressed against her thighs before she let her hand fall upon his cheek, the same side of his face that Ludwig had struck. His busted lip was barely beginning to heal and he winced at the pain as she slapped him.

He pressed his eyes shut as he composed himself before meeting her head-on once again. She looked at him with snide.

  
"Stop trying to manipulate me. I'm so sick and tired, Gilbert. You can't tell me what to do or what not to do." With that, she hurriedly grabbed her discarded shirt from the floor and pulled it over her head.

He cradled his cheek in his hand as he watched silently. He almost looked wounded.

"You can't just set me aside and come back to me when you need a quick fix. Stop trying to crawl back into my life after you've willingly left it. Don't be a coward and get your life together on your own." She spat as she stepped into her shoes.

She grabbed her phone and car keys, the only things she had carried with her on her way to him.

"If you walk away, everything will fall apart," he softly called out to her, his voice shaking. She did not turn to see the silvery tears spill from his sorrowful eyes. He sounded so weak, so needy. His voice quivered to let the syllables out.

"I need you," he pleaded, gripping the sheets she had previously wrapped herself in. Her warmth had already left the bed, leaving him cold and alone.

She took a deep breath as she turned the doorknob to pull it open.

"Goodbye, Gilbert."

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally published in Wattpad on Jul 31, 2020.


End file.
